akeown

Kung Fu Panda

Tue, 10 Jun 2008 20:43:00 GMT

So we are having a baby. Yes, a baby. And we are almost completely unprepared. But that's okay, we have some time.

For most of my life I believed that I would be a mom. A wife? Not so much. So I was a little surprised with Craig's arrival last year, because our relationship was perfect from day one. I still maintain that he is my one big thing, that life gave me enough. Which is the reason we are getting married. In five weeks. Yeah!

But when we talked about kids, I still had hopes of being a mom. I figured a baby was a long shot, given my age and prior lack of productivity. I also knew that whole biological clock thing was there for a reason – babies belong to the young and I was not interested in tempting fate. I also wasn't interested in chasing a baby. If the universe saw fit to hold pregnancy from me, I could cope with that. But I wanted to try.

And damn if we didn't turn out to be good at it.

The date of my last monthlies doesn't match the baby's development, and that concerned us the first week – from the first ultrasound through three hormone level tests and into the second ultrasound. At that point we tossed out that date as a marker of anything. The baby's development has been on target otherwise. And we are in week ten.

The growth from the first ultrasound to the second ten days later was unreal. The baby, who I will call "he" without knowing the gender, resembles a little tiny panda in his second pics & I have taken to calling him the Kung Fu Panda. That may turn out to be completely appropriate, we'll see.

As for the gender – we will not know until he (or she) arrives. I like the old-school surprise method. It allows us to avoid the typical blue v. pink debate and to weed through twice as many lists of names. It is more fun.

And the hits just keep on coming...

Mon, 02 Jun 2008 19:00:21 GMT

The past few weeks have been a rollercoaster and the world keeps the hills coming.

Memorial Day weekend Jackson had to endure emergency surgery. His stomach had twisted, which I'd never even heard of and is exactly what it sounds like (it is also called bloating.) They have no idea what causes it to happen and they can't recreate it in lab settings. They can fix it though. He was fine for dinner but an hour or so later was doing the dog dry heaving, retching thing, so we let him back outside to eat grass & get it out of his system. He didn't improve. We let him back inside. His retching had subsided, but he couldn't sit down. He'd sit and pop back up. I felt his tummy and it had bulged on one side. I now know that the bulging is a major sign of a major thing. I called my vet, who happens to be a friend as well, and she sent me to the emergency room. He was seen almost immediately, despite the crowded room. And he was in surgery within the half hour, once they'd briefed us on the problem and the cost. Luckily we have a large line of credit, because it turned out to be about 10% of my salary. That was painful, but it was an emergency. The surgery took several hours. We waited until he was out of surgery and in recovery before we headed home for the evening. Poor Craig had to work the next day. But Jack was fine and he finally came home on Wednesday.

The next day, sitting on my butt at home, Rupert starts to barking. I look outside to see a man beating a small dog, possibly a pit mix, as he runs down the street. With my cat in the dog's mouth. I run outside, and help the man detach the dog from my cat. And it is bad. I'm sobbing by this point. The man was very nice, offering to take me to the vet – his dog just got away from him on the extendy leash, he'd never done anything like that before. But I wasn't aware of much right then. A neighbor holds onto Mooches while I get her crate and my purse. I took her to the same emergency room. The girl at the desk looks up to give me instructions and her face falls when she recognizes me. They started to treat her, but her internal wounds were too great and I put Mooches to sleep. Craig showed up from work within a few minutes and we took Jackson for a walk, drugged as he was. It was a horrible, emotional draining day.

I don't blame the man really – he left a note while we were at the ER, with his name and number & he's paying for the vet costs. Mooches was an outside cat, with all the danger it entails. And she lived a long time. She was the cat I started caring for when my neighbors didn't seem to. We fed her morning and night, we took her to the vet for shots, and when Craig & I would arrive home, Mooches would run out into the road to greet us (we called her "suicide cat"). She was a love. We miss her.

The next day I called to schedule picking Jackson up from the ER. The doctor asked if I'd ever noticed the lump on the left side of his face. Lump? There was no lump yesterday! In retrospect there probably was. Jack is so fluffy and his ears are lopsided, so the lump hides itself visually. I feel it now, but I tend to pet one handed and the lump is large, but solid and smooth. I probably just thought it was his jawbone. It isn't. The doc wanted to give him some time to recoup from the major surgery before we proceed, but on Friday when Jackson gets his sutures removed, he'll have a CT scan and biopsy. And we'll see what else is ailing him. My poor pup.

That's been my week. It started out stressful, as you can see, and I woke up on Thursday to my back out. And it still is. I am hobbling through the day – I resemble an eighty year old woman. I have visited the chiropractor every other day & I leave feeling better, but not great. Normally I would OD on Advil, the wonder drug that soothes my aching back on a regular basis but I can't.

Did I mention I was pregnant? Oh yeah, there's that.

These past few weeks have been CRAZY. More soon.

Goodbye Riley dog

Thu, 22 May 2008 16:48:24 GMT

It has been two weeks since we drove to Savannah and returned Riley dog to his first mom. I still miss him, but the house is much quieter and much less stressful. Riley had been with me since the month my mom died, in 2006. His mom was a Navy pilot and a friend of a friend – she was working late hours and had less time to spend with Riley. I had an opening in the household for a second dog. I took him sight unseen and he was a good dog. He was hell on wheels, chasing squirrels and birds, cats and dogs. He dug to China. He exhausted me. Luckily he would exhaust himself and fall onto his bed in the evening while primetime TV entertained the rest of us – he'd turn pink and sleepy. He was a great cuddler during those moments. And he was very loved.

He was also destructive and more than a little crazy. We dealt with all that with little fuss. But a few weeks ago he began to attack our other dog, Jackson, the chow-mix – drawing blood on both sides. Riley had been attacked prior to our ownership and badly injured and I was always aware of some fear aggression ("I'll get them before they get me" mentality). But there were four fights in three days, with little to set them off. Riley seemed almost protective. The first battle wage over Jackson biting at a fly that was trapped at the front door, trying to escape (Jackson chases bugs, consuming them if caught – he's an odd pup). Well Riley launched himself across the room at the sound of his snapping jaws. Craig & I pulled them apart, but the fights continued. We could not convince Riley that we didn't need protection from Jackson (though the fly did). The situation was not improving and we were worried for the dogs' safety as well as our own & Craig's daughter, R.

The whole idea of finding a new home for Riley was painful for me – I've never given up on an animal before and it broke my heart to think I was doing so now. And that's what it felt like I was doing. Until we learned that Riley's first mom was getting out of the Navy. As her situation had changed, but not her love for Riley, the time was ideal for his return to his first home. And she wanted him right away – when I asked what weekend would be good or bad, she volunteered for the following Sunday. Our plans went into overdrive at that point and two days latter the whole family drove to Savannah, GA (and Riley's mom drove up from Florida).

And he was so very happy to see her. He recognized her voice right away and ran to her, tail wagging uncontrollably. Craig's daughter and I broke down in tears when they were on there way, after we'd all said our goodbyes. I had to remind her (and myself) that we were crying for us, not Riley. Cause Riley dog was happy, we could tell. We were the sad ones. And we still are, but things worked out in the end. Doesn't mean I don't miss the pink dog, though.

Five years is toooo long

Fri, 18 Apr 2008 13:08:45 GMT

My friend read my last blog & wondered if I have a five year plan (go Stalin!) and just shrunk it to five months.

Sometimes I feel that way - there's always stuff I want to do, things I want to change, experiences I want to have - and I don't see any reason to wait. I run kinda of maniac/depressive on plans like these - I compile a list, knock most things off, then read a shelf of books on the chaise lounge & throw balls for the dogs. And if I stay true to course, that phase will hit when we return from CA. Late summer, not a bad way to go.

Update: our Dwarf Japanese Maple, "Gimli" made his way to our yard yesterday. He's little but handsome. We expect his partner, the pink dogwood, to arrive today or tomorrow. Her name is still being debated - Craig (and many others) are voting for Pinky Tuscadero, while I'm holding out for Rizzo, my favorite Pink Lady.

Where have I been?

Wed, 16 Apr 2008 19:24:55 GMT

I'm juggling eight million things these days - half of which I don't need to worry on but do:

Saturday - we get to book the wedding ceremony. After that we can schedule the "reception" (drinks & dinner for fifteen barely qualifies for that title, but still), the photographer, the flowers.

The non-timeline wedding items that remain: Craig's suit, R.'s dress (she's growing so fast, that should be a last minute thing), our rings, my shoes (important item for some of us).

Registering for the wedding - my friends have been on me about this one and the truth is we just don't need much. We are probably going to hit Bed Bath and Beyond for some kitchen stuff, new sheets & towels. We are trying to figure out how to register for kayaks or if the Great Big Greenhouse has a registry...

We have a timeline for the yard/house for the spring into the fall with heavy investments of both time and money. We just bought a beautiful new chocolate leather sofa and we are considering chairs. We finally have the new door in and Craig's painting the final coat this week. We want to cut a french door off the large bedroom to exit onto the new deck (Spring/Summer '08), that will have steps down to the new patio/walk/backdoor BBQ locale (Summer '08). Craig's fixing a few issues with the fence as I type, which will allow for a flagstone patio to be built at the back of the yard (recycled from the old walk). So we are having some things professionally done, but we have to do the prep work before hand - moving all the old white rocks from the walkway back to the parking spot, removing all the old patio pavers (we are donating them to a charity that repairs homes for the poor) - the jobs that are a lot of grunt work, minimal skill (ME). We are having three new trees planted this week - a dwarf Japanese maple and a pink dogwood in the front and a regular Japanese maple in the back. My friend is taking a Camelia that drives me crazy every year by dropping pink blooms - something to do with the frost or the sun, something I can't really fix. We are transplanting periwinkle, hoping it will take over the area by the road that languished for years as just dirt. We are putting down a little patch of sod for the grass the dogs have run bare, probably with some sort of sprinkler system underneath, to keep everything alive (Early Fall '08). I'm currently researching rain water harvesting to see how much can be handled manually - free and earthfriendly, win-win.

Starting back at the gym for the countdown to the wedding. Not sure if we'll renew after July - there is plenty we can do at home. Motivation is an issue, gym or no gym. But I like the idea of coming home and walking the dogs rather than driving to the gym to walk there. We'll see.

Not much else - we saw the Drive-by Truckers when they hit Richmond a few weeks ago & I have never enjoyed a show more. Ever. It was amazing. I'm listening to them now. The show, plus a podcast in hi-fi got me interested in LPs again - something I may explore in the weeks to come.

Late, again. Bye!

Wedding plans

Fri, 14 Mar 2008 19:01:51 GMT

Wedding is all but set (yeah, right).

July in San Francisco. Ten days. SF then Yosemite then SF again. Getting married in SF City Hall (can't book until 90 days out):

Too many witnesses for a normal civil ceremony so we are renting part of City Hall for an hour:

Haven't decided on the restaurant yet, or whether it will be lunch or dinner. Private room, yummy food, good music. Lots available - I just can't decide.

I HAVE booked the hotels for the trip (and that was HARD). Three nights at the Boheme, where Ginsberg would write, across the street from City Lights (yeah!). Three nights in Yosemite at the Ahwahnee:

Then back to SF for four days of wedding and family and fun! More later - LATE!!!!!!!

Thu, 21 Feb 2008 21:04:33 GMT

I seem to be obsessing over the color red lately – the past month has brought me a belated birthday gift of a deep red hard-sided carry-on sized piece of Samsonite, an on-time birthday gift of cherry red Chuck Taylor hightops (which may prove a little too candy girl for my thirties), and I'm awaiting my new red canister vacuum (I clean so hard I break stuff!). And that beautiful new front door will be a deep red to match the kitchen walls – when it is finally done. My brother-in-law-to-be has received, fitted, prepped and primed the new door (I've seen it so I actually do believe it will happen), but we have come to terms with the fact that the original, antique door knob and lock will not transition as smoothly as we'd hoped. So we are awaiting the new (beautiful) set ordered from Pleasants. What is another week or two in the span of the NINE months that our door has been "in process." Almost makes me want to fix things before they break…..

Like I can afford that.

Other things "in process:"

The new year has brought with it a (small) obsession: I am hoping we will be out of debt by the year's end. Now that's a big goal and one that may have to be tweeked after the wedding plans are finalized. Craig & I both brought debt to the relationship and I was a little overwhelmed after we merged all of our finances – I refinanced the house, allowing us to pay off my Visa, his high interest car and the handful of bills he had floating around. But now we only have a fifteen year mortgage (yeah!) and even that shouldn't take that long, since we are paying extra each month. But, as everyone is well aware, it is one step forward, two steps back. The door set us back, not just nine months, but over a grand, due mostly to the fact that it is a seven foot door on a house that is seventy years old (and settled in its ways). Then the vacuum broke - life in house with three dogs, two cats and two full time people is not worth living without a vacuum (you drown in fur). Craig's car is in the shop. You get the gist. But we are trying. Taxes didn't help as much as I'd hoped, but we are still getting back, instead of having to scramble to pay. Fact of the matter, I can spend some money. It flows through my hands with the greatest of ease. But we have started to live on cash only, instead of using the Visa and paying (most) of the balance every month. Which has the added bonus of making me contemplate every purchase - can we really afford that? Of course, the wedding will not be cheap (no surprise there) and that may throw the largest wrench into this plan. But I am only getting married once. There are no do-overs. So we'll spend some money. Which leads us to…
The wedding in July in ~~Hawaii~~ San Francisco. Just the family and a few friends. About ten folks total. It is a long, costly trip that few of my friends could swing. That's fine with us – we'll throw a party at the house when we get back, or maybe rent a restaurant for the evening. That suits me 100%. That way the ceremony remains small, intimate and casual, even though our lives tend to be much bigger than that (in a really great way). I wouldn't feel like it was real without my family there, especially now that my mom's gone, but I'm not one of those people that likes being the focus. I am a gathering, not an event, kind of gal. So we are thinking ~~a standing ceremony at sunset~~ City Hall! Simple easy dress (I've just started looking). Maybe short - my mom got married in a short dress and I've always loved it. And then a glorious dinner afterwards. Sounds ideal. We are still planning things, and it is more like planning a grand vacation than a wedding (a lot less pressure). ~~Since we've never visited Hawaii before and we are wide open for ideas, it is hard to choose. If we stay on Oahu, it looks like we'll be at the Kahala resort~~ ~~http://www.kahalaresort.com/~~ ~~which is PLUSH.~~ That was the plan until a friend suggested Maui being more to my liking, less commercial, more pacific island escapism. And just a short plane ride from Oahu. Personally, I love the idea of being "just mauied." But we can only get nine or ten days away, so side excursions may have to wait until we return…
Finally, looking forward to this summer, and the wedding and trip in particular, I am in the process of revamping the body that carts me around all day. I would, of course, like to look my best for the wedding. But I'd also like to get back into the multitude of Patagonia summer shifts that I've amassed over the years instead of shopping for the hips I have now. So we've been going to the gym, which I love love love - when I'm there. I just have to motivate up off the couch. I need to do what they do on the Biggest Loser and replace the family room couch with a treadmill. Hmmmmmm….

Not much else. We celebrated Kirk's birthday with a wonderful cocktail party that Melissa put together (yum). We watch waaaaaaay too much TV, with the return of Lost and Jericho (and American Idol - I'm still hooked). I'm looking forward to the Academy Awards and have seen almost all the films nominated (I am a huge fan of No Country for Old Men, but I love me some Clooney & Michael Clayton won me over). I am so glad the writer's strike is over. Rupert is a vicious, vicious animal but, damn, he's cute. A friend of mine has me considering moving to the mountains of NC (in eight years, when Raven's gone to college), which are closer to RIC than Montana. We've got tickets to see the Pogues in DC in a few weeks. On Monday, a state holiday that I had to work, it was 72 degrees. When I got off on Tuesday instead – it was in the forties. Typical.

And that's all I got.